Doughnuts On Your Own Aren’t The Same…


Whenever I watch the news and see the latest story about our societal struggle with obesity I always wonder: “Do the people on TV know they’re being used as stock footage while a reporter talks about how fat we are?” I mean – I know they never really show anybody’s faces – it’s always from the neck down, someone sitting on a park bench with empty fast food containers all around them etc, but – is anyone ever sitting at home innocently watching the news going: “Oh my gosh, that’s ME!! I had takeaways on that park bench today – that’s ME!!”

I can imagine that would be the sort of thing that would precipitate a change in ones lifestyle…

“What made you decide you had to get in shape?”

“Well – it was when I saw myself on the news eating Macca’s on a park bench during a segment on obesity…”

I have to admit – I love food. It’s like – one of my favourite things. I honestly don’t think I could live without it.

The other day I was with a friend and I asked if he wanted to get a doughnut. He said “Nah, I’m not hungry.” and I thought “What does that have to do with eating a doughnut?!”  I don’t think we can be friends anymore…

Here’s a rather confronting fact: Not only are we the most obese, we’re also the most in debt, the most addicted and the most medicated generation in history.

What’s that about? It’s 2018. We know more than we’ve ever known before. Shouldn’t we be smarter than that? Shouldn’t we be all fit and healthy and financially secure and stuff?

Why do we eat too much, spend too much, binge too much and medicate too much?

The answer is – we do what we do to avoid feeling what we feel; and what we feel, is disconnection.

It’s loneliness. It’s misunderstood. It’s unworthy. It’s judged. It’s afraid to be ourselves. It’s a result of comparing ourselves to people that don’t exist. A generation of Instagram filters (orchestrated) and perfect Facebook moments (fake), and magazine covers (airbrushed) and and trying to keep up with the Jones’s – who are all of a sudden everyone that we’ve never met – and all of this builds up and contributes to this overwhelming feeling of ‘I’m not good enough’.

Ugh. I’m not good enough. Four words that do more to damage connection than anything else.

Because the sad truth is, that the belief that I’m not worthy of connection is the single biggest obstacle to connection – it’s a self fulfilling prophecy, and so we have the most connected generation in history struggling to connect.

Writer and journalist Johann Hari says “the opposite of addiction is connection”. To reword that slightly: the opposite of connection is addiction.

We were created for connection – it’s the most basic human need. Not only were we created for it, it’s impossible for life to have purpose or meaning without it.  You ARE worthy of connection – not because of anything you’ve done, or haven’t done – but simply because you’re you!

Stop comparing yourself to someone else. Be you. You’re awesome. You’re worth connecting with. If we all believed that, we’d all be OK with being ourselves. And if that happened – we’d all connect on a much deeper and meaningful level. And if connection really IS the opposite of addiction – then think of the money you’d save on doughnuts…

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